Christmas hipster

OK I lived in Portland and the Greater Portland Area for years while growing up and attending college. Reed College. It must have been satirized on that awful sarcastic TV show about Portland. Anyway, I guess all this gives me some sort of latter day hipster cred. I certainly hope so because today I am wearing a red sweater and green skinny cargo pants. This says "christmas" to me and I tried to tone down the merry merry effect in a number of unconvincing ways. Therefore, I decided that I am dressed as an elf in an ironic way. So being an ironic Christmas elf leads me full circle to Hipster Christmas.
The couple who lives next door to us are very nice young people. They have a combined age of, oh, 43. They bought that house from my ex-husband (the world get smaller every day) for just under 2 million American dollars a few years ago. I imagine that they both work for Google but I have no data to support that. One of their Prius' has a bumper sticker that say "my other car is Larry David's Prius". OK so you know what I'm talking about. These baby millionaires never come out of the house. They have not hung curtains in their 2 million dollar palace so on occassion when I jog by I see that they are living in the front room knee deep in hoodies scattered throught the room, hanging from the banister, etc etc. These beloved baby hipster millionaires only just this month took their fully decorated phony (how ironic!) Christmas tree down. March! Yes, March! Fully decorated with tasteful blue and silver ornaments. How ironic is that! Ha ha we will show the neighbors how square it is to take your Christmas tree down by leaving ours up until March. Because we are so much more hip than you are. Wading through ankle deep socks and hoodies. With our pet bird. That none of us has actually seen.
Alternatively, the raging old crone on their front yard, pointing at their window and gesticulating madly could have been the spark that cause the tree to go away.
 "Honey, do we still have our Christmas tree up in the next room?"
"I dunno I haven't been in that room since I unwrapped my beta-test version of Google Glasses under the tree on the 26th of December. Why do you ask? And where is my Philz hoodie?"
"There is a really old woman on the lawn and she has a shotgun. Should I take the tree down?"
Anyway.
Clothing choices getting limited. Need to dig out more shirts. Must avoid unintentional bloodshed of local hipsters.