Sunday, February 22, 2015

The Cranky Fashionista

I've been gone a while. After that incredibly hard year of not buying anything new, I'm back with a vengeance.

So. I don't typically wear much make-up, but I have to have stock on hand in case I need to pull a professional or tidy look out on short notice. To this end, I went to the mall after perusing the internet with some ideas in mind as to what I wanted to try. On the top of my list was a Clinique lipstick called "Black Honey". It is in a class of lipstick called "almost lipstick" or something. Its very dark colored, but quite sheer and everyone online is raving about it.

So I show up at the Clinique counter and am greeted, well not really, by a very young woman who sees me coming and grabs her water bottle. I smile in what I hope is a friendly fashion.

Me: Hi! I have some questions about this lipstick.
Young lady: OK!
Me: Does it feather, or bleed?
Girl: It's very sheer (she rubs it on her hand)
Me: I see its very sheer, and such a nice color. Does it bleed or feather?
child: (Quizzical look) Its very sheer.

So I bought it. The force of her argument was overwhelming. And guess what, ladies? It bleeds to beat hell. Makes my mouth look like a horror show. Darkens up the lines in my lips and runs off all around my mouth. Looks l
ike I just ate the still beating bloody heart that I tore out of the chest of a toddler Clinique employee.

So I also bought some very nice foundation from MAC and some concealer. The helpful young lady at the MAC counter tried two different shades on concealer on, and one was much better than the other. After I paid I said "does this look ok? I am going to walk around the mall" and the girl said, "Oh god no you need to take the one concealer off" and she handed me a make-up wipe.  Thank goodness for honesty.

Anyway. Clinique Black Honey almost lipstick. For young girls with plump lips only. Or for Honey Badgers.
Almost Lipstick

Hag lips. Dont let this happen to you!

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Finally done. I did it!

I did it. I went the whole years wearing only unique combinations of shirts and bottoms that were present in my closet on 1 January. I only messed up twice, back in January. It was kind of hard, and kind of...freeing? to not have to worry about my clothes but I must say I got really tired of my frumpy clothes. And...the flood gates opened as of this week. I bought lots of nice new things including a pair of really comfortable Frye boots that I may never take off again. What did I learn? I learned that some combinations may surprise you in looking really good, and some combinations...not so much. I will try to be more adventuresome in the future. I may log on later to wax philosophical about all this but as its New Years Eve I have to go.
Next year's Resolution? I may have to think that through alittle more carefully.

Happy 2014, everyone!!

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Christmas elf

All green and red. Wearing a christmas lights necklace. For another work holiday party. This party is my favorite work tradition: the holiday potluck. Some folks are really good cooks!

David Sedaris got nuthin on me

Monday, December 16, 2013

Holiday attire

Or what passes for it. We had a Holiday Lunch at work today. I think this looks Christmas-y, if not fancy. That sweater came from Stockholm. I was sent there in January to do a clinical site training in 1995. It was colder than I expected so I ponied up the big bucks for the garb worn by the locals. Its dark there, too. Sun comes up at about 10:30 and sets at 2. It never gets bright. No wonder they drink. And kill themselves. Merry, merry.

Ho ho ho. Who you callin' a ho?

Friday, December 13, 2013

Slouching towards the finish line

December. It has been cold. And I broke my ankle on the 2nd when jogging off some extra pecan pie. The world contains really good people who are there for you in disasters. I am so grateful to the two guys who stopped and helped me.
So now I am trying to integrate this big black plastic and velco footwear into my wardrobe. How am I doing?
Hopalong Harding!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Holy crap when will this ever end?

November done; off into the last month of this.
Confession: I bought a shirt and a pair of pants off of Gilt. They were 40% off. How could I resist??? I will not wear them until next month except to try them on. Might have to go back: mail order pants are always a problem. So I am still in line with the letter, if not the spirit, of my new years resolution.
Speaking of pants I went to the doctor for the annual check up and have officially gained 10 lbs. Do you feel me? 10 pounds! That's why I have retired the blue jeans and the brown cords. It is unsee,ly for an old bag such as I to be toddling around with Camel Hooves. So I went into the depths of my closet and drew forth a pair of Eli Tahari dress pants. Straight leg dark brown wool. Very seemly.
I also pulled out some shirts. All of this stuff is from the closet. Now you know, dear reader, that I have much too much stuff in my closet.

I am really looking forward to throwing this worn out stuff away and refreshing my sad closet. I no longer feel that I haven't gotten my money's worth out of these items. I have gotten that and more.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

putting something on....

Remember my post about getting dressed versus putting something on? Here I am, reduced to putting something on. I spend an inordinate amount of time shopping online these days, putting selected items into my shopping cart then shutting the site. I can't wait until after christmas when the sales all start and I can buy a bunch of replacements for the awful stuff in my closet. I have started slowly throwing stuff out, and have "grown out" of at least two pairs of pants this year. I am dying for a pair of nicely fitted pants with a leather stripe down one side; some new sweaters without pills all over them, a large silk shirt to wear with new pants. Man alive.

Just for funsies I took a picture of myself in front of the full length mirror in the (ahem) ladies locker room at my workplace fitness club. That's the red pants shot below. Ya know, the full length mirror I pose in front of at home is a free-standing one and it tilts backwards. I suspect that because of the angle it tilts at it makes my butt look bigger than it actually is! That's my story and I'm sticking to it. That, or the fitness club mirrors are angles to make you look good in order to prop up self esteem. Because let's face it: the women's locker room is a horror show. All false pretense fades away.

Anyway. Wearing a dress today. Thanksgiving and Hanukkah tomorrow on the same day. Then December and I can get this whole thing over. Yay!

looking good here. Why?

big ass big boots you cant see